Archive for the ‘Vampires’ Category

Fifty Shades of Gary the Vampire Today we take a look at “Fifty Shades of Gary the Vampire: Anais’s Sin” by Sabrina Swan ($2.99, published May 22, 2012, unknown number of pages).

I got the book on loan for free as part of the Amazon Prime lending program.

Part of the book’s blurb: Fifty Shades of Gary the Vampire series begins with Anais’s Sin (Book #1), the tale of a witty, sex-starved stripper who has messed up her life so badly that she is one second from dying by her own hand. That hot summer night in modern-day Los Angeles, a sunglasses-wearing vampire alights in her bedroom and she’ll do anything to try to convince Gary that she wants to become dead, undead, or anything but what she is: mortal. Gary hasn’t laughed so hard in centuries…but wow, does Anais Sin ever need a spanking!

Here’s another part of the Amazon blurb: “Fifty Shades of Gary the Vampire is the funny, kinky, erotic paranormal novella parody series about Gary the Time-Traveling Vampire’s quest to choose a kinky lover with whom to spend eternity.” I’d say the blurb is spot on except I didn’t find it particularly funny. Witty, yes, even humorous but certainly nothing that made me laugh out loud. Or even on the inside.

The story idea is promising, and Gary was a very likeable character (unlike Christian in that OTHER book). The book is mostly well written (there were some issues in need of editing in the first couple of chapters, but after that … perfect). It’s a short read. I read it in an afternoon, so two or three hours tops. It claims to be book #1 in a series, but so far Ms. Swan has not published the sequel, at least not at Amazon.

I want to roast this book, but there’s really nothing negative to roast about. It has a 4.4-star average out of 9 reviews. Here are some of the reviews:

“Swan really spins a delightfully erotic and funny story where vampire have the ability to change their saliva’s taste to suit that of their lover’s favorite foods, wings that they can fly with and glow in the dark man ranch.” – No lie – he paints his name on her chest with his, errm, man “ranch” dressing. And it glows. In the dark. And Anais doesn’t want to wash it off. (Can I get an “ewww” from the audience please?)

“The Sex was fun and exciting without being too raunchy.” True story, bro.

And lastly, “The humourous twist Sabrina Swan employed with Gary’s ‘shades’ made me laugh out loud, and her Dom vampire was equal parts hilarity and spanky-handed sterness. Gary the Vampire was an interesting character, his tortured past inserted nicely, countering the often lighthearted vibe to the storyline. Anais’ portrayal left me having to work – at times with great effort – to like her, but Gary helps her along the path to change. In the end, Anais has taken her discipline well (insert a laugh here) and we begin to see a woman of esteem emerge from the disaster of her previous life. She’s overeager, brass, and unrepentant, things I tend to dislike in a heroine, but it’s written with a quirky humor that allowed me to set those feelings aside. Add in a dangerous Marquis’ threat to Gary and the women he ‘helps’, a search for true love, and time travel, and you’ve got it all. This is only the first leg of Gary’s quest to find his eternal mate, and I’ll await anxiously the next installment.
Fifty Shades of Gary the Vampire is nicely constructed, with a clear plotline and distinct characters. The sex is racy, so be warned; this novella is not for those who prefer a sweet or chaste romance. It is, however, one I’d recommend to those who don’t mind a light BDSM theme with a fun twist. For the price, the fact that it’s a novella, and because I enjoy a fun filled, quick and easy read, I give it four stars. ” – I’d have to agree with this entire paragraph except for the hilarity part. Maybe I was having a PMS moment or something, but I didn’t find it to be hilarious. But everything else here is spot on so I’ll just chime in and say “me too!” I’d definitely buy the sequel.

Tune in next Friday as I review “Fifty Shades of Brains” by B F Dealeo, where we’re promised “SEX. ZOMBIES. REALLY ANNOYING PRESENT TENSE NARRATION.” God, I can hardly wait!

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