Posts Tagged ‘Bacon’

Welcome to the very first Fifty Shades Friday at VillaraNoir.com!  Here, I poke fun at review one of the many spin-offs of the Fifty Shades trilogy.  Yes, it’s two years after the release.  Yes, everyone is sick to death of Fifty Shades of Anything, which is why I’m here to ridicule the bejeesus out of those books, because honestly, I have nothing else to blog about.

So, without further ado, my first victim review is for … (drum roll please) …

Fifty Shades of Bacon

by Ben Myhre & Jenna Johnson
That’s right, bacon!  And who doesn’t like bacon, I ask?  (Besides my friend Melodeee, you freak).  Sizzling fat mixed with a smattering of maple-touched bacon can buy me a drink and take me home anytime!  But seriously, folks, you just can’t make this stuff up.  Fifty Shades of Bacon.  I give 5 stars for creativity alone.  For the mere price of $11.68 (it’s currently on sale from $12.08) for paperback or $2.99 for Kindle, you, too, can hate (or love) yourself for wasting your money and two (one?) hours of your life you’ll never get back.

Let me make a disclaimer here:  I did NOT buy this book. You want to buy it, go ahead. Be my guest. I will be quoting some customer feedback here gleaned straight from Amazon reviews. And who doesn’t trust Amazon reviews, right?

Fifty-Shades-of-Bacon

Let’s start with the cover, which is fabulous. See what they did there? Nice Fifty Shades tie action going on. It’s full of promise, full of flavor, full of all sorts of bacon naughtiness. Such a tease.

Now on to reviewers’ comments, which I’ll paraphrase for the poor folks out there actually reading this.

Apparently the price of this bad boy used to be $25, so some complaints were that $25 was too much for a paperback book that was no thicker than a magazine. Apparently the authors listened and changed the price. Kudos, authors!

Next, we have a reviewer that states, and I quote, “The only real Fifty Shades connection is a table of contents that lists appetizers as foreplay.” Hello!?? Did you not see the cover? I think that qualifies as a Fifty Shades connection, am I right? Anyway, you, dear reader, can go to Amazon and use their “Look Inside” feature to view the table of contents yourself. There’s a lot more listed there than just appetizers!

Other reviews are of the “catchy and humorous” type, and “good book for a gift,” and “the bacon deviled eggs and the bacon cheddar scones are worth the price of the book” (damn, now I’m hungry). And then there’s my favorite, “not enough bang for the Bacon.” So clever. I want to be that guy.

Bottom line: Eric Ista did a really wonderful job on the cover design. That’s some real eye candy right there, folks. Since I did not purchase this book, I cannot add any more than that.

Up next week on Fifty Shades Friday, I’ll be reviewing Fifty Shades of Chicken by FL Fowler  (that’s right, Fowler. I told you, you can’t make this stuff up!). It’s got some rave reviews so you’ll want to check back for that! And don’t worry, I’ll eventually get around to reviewing some erotic Fifty Shades stuff (although the chicken on next week’s book cover is looking pretty erotic to me – I can practically hear the bow-chica-wow-wow now!). Until then, enjoy your weekend and cook up some bacon!

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